His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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