you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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