We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
