____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
ok first of all what the fuck
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
