How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Michael Bay diarrhea
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
