She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize