at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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