My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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