Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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