i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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