tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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