I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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