You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He better not be in your backpack
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
