It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
