she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
