So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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