you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I deserve this hangover.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
