i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
