I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
