I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
