Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize