There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
