I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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