You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
