well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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