We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
