Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Randomize
