i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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