...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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