i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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