I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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