then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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