You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
