This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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