I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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