her facebook's as public as her vagina
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize