no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
