happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
