he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
