I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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