we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
