How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
