Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
