He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so that wasnt chicken after all
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
