This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
