The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
