Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
