a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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