dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
