Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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