He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
