Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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