Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
