youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
