ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
