Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
