Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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