how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
