So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
