Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
