I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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