I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
