I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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