That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
two words...techno handjob
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
