so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
