D3 body, D1 cock
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
