Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
