Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
