Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
After tacos, we're chasing women.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
