god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
