I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
