You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
