the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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