i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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