I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Come share oat with me in your robe
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
