and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
