So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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