Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
