The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
